So, I was thinking about the whole "teachers are just babysitters" thing again today and laughing to myself, especially when I thought of all the folks at home with their kids know who WISH they had that teacher working right now!
Frankly, my hubby has it right. If teaching is such easy money just to babysit, why don't more people DO it??? Just go out and get the 4 year degree (in which you do student teaching and learn how one tries to impart knowledge while "babysitting"), then sub for years on end trying to get INTO a district (while DEALING with the same kids who don't respect you because you're not their teacher) and then...teach! Actually try to MAKE children learn when they really want to do anything else, even just sit and VEG out rather than learn. And THEN deal with the parents who think you're just teaching because you're that mean teacher THEY had back in "n"th grade that hated them. Oh, and don't forget the general public who'll want to know why Johnny can't read later on down the road because all you did was "babysit".
As Noah once said to the Lord..."RIGHT!"
Let's break this down for a minute. Babysitters come in and go home. As a teacher, just TRY to make your work day just fit into the actual DAY. Babysitters do NOT have to take the kid home with them or grade them on how they did. And if you're thinking "Well, if teachers gave less homework, they wouldn't HAVE so much work at home to do" think again. When I go home, I'm not just grading. I'm doing lesson plans and checking to see where the kids are so I can adjust my lesson plans and finding new ways to present old material so the kids will actually ENJOY learning ('cause if they DON'T, they won't make it far). Every teacher I know carries work home with them, even on holidays and does it during free time. And we're NOT hourly, we're SALARIED, so it's EXPECTED we're doing this and that our salaries will cover the time lost with our loved ones.
Oh, and the holidays? Those times you think we have it easy? Those are the times when we're told to go to superintendent's meetings, conferences, and other places that AREN'T because teachers NEVER stop learning. There's always new ways to do things, new rules and regs to follow, new constrictions that prevent us from doing what it is we were hired to do in the simplest and most direct manner.
And have you ever dealt with a school bureaucracy? People at the top are kinda like the financial wing of hospitals. They sometimes forget that school really ISN'T a business. It's not about making kids and their parents HAPPY (although it's a nice side effect). It's about giving them what they NEED to survive. It's about making them into life long learners, people who understand that education is what makes us better than animals. Despite the separation of church and state, we still show children how to treat their fellow man by showing them the mistakes of the past, explaining how to take care of the future and letting them interact with other humans on a regular basis where they're CONSTANTLY tested on right and wrong.
As more and more parents try to be friends and not parents, teachers have become more like parents than anything. But we're GOOD parents. While we teach, we try to shelter and protect your child from the world around them. We know they may go home and deal with terrible outside forces and scary adult issues, but while they are with us, they are SAFE. Even in extreme circumstances, when other adults (even parents or family members) turn cold and frightening, or children become confused & angry and turn on each other, we assure your child that NO ONE can get to them while we are there. Every time we have any kind of drill, I remind my students of all the proper procedures, as well as tell them that "no matter WHAT, I will personally STOP anyone that tries to hurt you!"
And homework? Okay, admittedly some people go overboard, but isn't it possible that with all the ways the public demands that children be ready to join the workplace that it's NECESSARY? School is where you LEARN things and homework is to PRACTICE what you learned, just like anything else. And if you expect the same of your kids in a SPORT (going to practice regularly before you actually play the game), why be so shocked that your kids would do the same in the academic arena? We've read about parents who've threatened and literally KILLED to make sure their child got on cheerleading squads or hockey teams. Where's the same passion for something they'll need for the REST of their lives ('cause, I can PROMISE you, VERY few move on to professional careers in SPORTS!)?
And, really, folks, even if you think education did you NO good at all, can you GET the high paying jobs without going to school anymore? You literally HAVE to have a degree from a secondary school of SOME sort to stand out in the ever shrinking workplace.
Do you REALLY want to call the person who taught you to READ nothing more than a babysitter, then pay them pennies to do all that you expect of them?
Okay, since I've rambled on like a Seinfeld rerun, let me end with this bit of humor. Can't take credit for it, but if this is how the world feels, I have no choice but to acquiesce for the global good! :-)
Since school teachers are really just glorified babysitters, let's just pay teachers the going rate for babysitting.
Let's pay them $3 an hour per kid, and they work 8-4, with a half-hour lunch. After all, why should we pay them for 'planning' or to eat?
So that's 7.5 working hours a day, and an elementary teacher works with about 20 kids a day.
So $3 X 7.5 hours a day X 20 kids = $450.00.
And I'm sure not paying them for weekends (more 'planning') and I'm sure not paying them for summers off for 'training' or advanced 'education,' so really, we are only going to pay them for 180 days a year.
So $450.00 X 180 = $81,000.
And just to be nice, if you have a master's degree, I'll give you $4.00 an hour.
That means we are going to pay teachers/babysitters $80,000 to $108,000 a year.
And not a penny more!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
You Know You're Getting Old When...
This list started while watching the first item on the list and just kept expanding:
1. You watch Lindsey Wagner selling Sleep Number beds and are just as interested in what she has to say as when she was the Bionic Woman.
2. You're ALLOWED to stay up all night, but don't want to.
3. You DON'T have to take a nap after lunch, but you DO want to.
4. The sight of snow falling makes you think about scraping windows and shoveling, not building forts and making snowmen.
5. Your parents' house or grandmother's house looks smaller than you remember it.
6. You look at people you would have described as "hot" when you were 18 and wonder do their parents know what their wearing in public.
7. The idea of getting to drive to the pizza place, take the money inside and PAY for the pizza makes you feel tired, not grown up.
8. Running surprises you as much as it does your walking shoes.
9. You actually HAVE walking shoes.
10. You are more likely to be a spectator than a player in a pickup game.
11. You watch the love scenes in movies and actually understand them.
12. You can't get candy if you dress up on Halloween.
13. You're the one saying "When I was your age" and boring your children/grandchildren.
14. You actually have children/grandchildren.
15. You REALLY know what sex is (not just what your friends say).
16. Your worries about money involve more than just candy and video games.
17. You're more like Hook than Peter...and you're not sure how or when that happened.
18. You're mad that you can't find anything but anime & computer gen stuff on Saturday mornings.
19. When you watch tv, you spend half the time saying "Who's that?" and the other half asking "What ever happened to (insert 70's/80's tv star here)?"
20. You stopped believing that Saturday Night Live was funny about 15 years ago.
1. You watch Lindsey Wagner selling Sleep Number beds and are just as interested in what she has to say as when she was the Bionic Woman.
2. You're ALLOWED to stay up all night, but don't want to.
3. You DON'T have to take a nap after lunch, but you DO want to.
4. The sight of snow falling makes you think about scraping windows and shoveling, not building forts and making snowmen.
5. Your parents' house or grandmother's house looks smaller than you remember it.
6. You look at people you would have described as "hot" when you were 18 and wonder do their parents know what their wearing in public.
7. The idea of getting to drive to the pizza place, take the money inside and PAY for the pizza makes you feel tired, not grown up.
8. Running surprises you as much as it does your walking shoes.
9. You actually HAVE walking shoes.
10. You are more likely to be a spectator than a player in a pickup game.
11. You watch the love scenes in movies and actually understand them.
12. You can't get candy if you dress up on Halloween.
13. You're the one saying "When I was your age" and boring your children/grandchildren.
14. You actually have children/grandchildren.
15. You REALLY know what sex is (not just what your friends say).
16. Your worries about money involve more than just candy and video games.
17. You're more like Hook than Peter...and you're not sure how or when that happened.
18. You're mad that you can't find anything but anime & computer gen stuff on Saturday mornings.
19. When you watch tv, you spend half the time saying "Who's that?" and the other half asking "What ever happened to (insert 70's/80's tv star here)?"
20. You stopped believing that Saturday Night Live was funny about 15 years ago.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Well, of course YOU did...redux!
Okay...I can now publically admit it.
I voted for Barack Obama!
Man, what a relief to finally get to SAY that! For those of you wondering why I kept it a secret, there's a ton of reasons. First of all, I'm a teacher, so I never tell the kids who I plan to vote for. They're always trying to gauge their own thoughts with my own and I want them to decide for themselves.
The biggest, though, was the subject of one of my earlier blogs and where the title for this one came from. I didn't want people throwing away my political opinion just because I was black. With some of the folks I know, just saying that I was voting for him would have made them decide to not listen to anything I had to say about ANYthing. They would have been disgusted, thinking I only voted for him because of his race and that "we all stick together".
This is patently NOT true. There are about as many divides in the black community as there are in the white community, so looking like someone does not automatically mean I'll be casting a vote for them. I was ready to vote for either of them back in the primaries, but in the end, I really just paid attention to what the candidates had to say and felt like Obama was the most likely candidate for CHANGE.
Watching the returns was amazing. I was completely overjoyed until I listened to McCain's concession speech.
And then, right in the middle, I started to cry.
All this time and I had truly forgotten that he was the FIRST (frankly, I forgot he was black at ALL!). He did such an amazing job of making this NOT about race that people of ALL races truly forgot. Personally, I really only cared about CHANGE, not making history or anything else. Even before I walked into the polling booth, Kevin nudged my elbow and whispered "Go make history." And it still didn't hit me.
But once I remembered, really understood, I wished that my (and his) grandmother had lived to see the day. My own parents (who never voted in their lives until 2000) even said they really had never expected to see this in their lifetime. Dad said he'd just never thought that far ahead. I liken it to the way one doesn't think of marrying flowers. It's not that they can't be pretty and sweet, but the idea of marriage to a plant just seems so farfetched as to never occur to you.
My favorite saying from all this was on a t-shirt:
Rosa sat so Martin could walk
Martin walked so Barack could run
Barack is running so our children can FLY.
Speaking of children, despite my attempts to NOT discuss my personal political views and stick to the basic facts of the American election process, this whole thing held my class in its thrall. I was so proud! Last week was NY Kids Voting, but I had NO info on the candidates. I was very disappointed because NO one should vote without finding out the FACTS about the people involved. So, without my telling them to, many of them went and did research on their own. When I mentioned that the US president is a world leader, one of my boys asked "How can we be so popular if our economy is so bad?" They kept asking great questions, so instead of sticking to the basics, we went deep into everything that's been hitting the US (war, economy, etc.). We even talked about what a patriot really is (ANYone who defends their country against outside influences). On Tuesday, we kept an electoral college map that refreshed every 10 minutes up on the tv with kid votes from all over the US. They were excited today when they checked the real map and saw how well the kids mirrored their parents in voting (which led to the discussion of why kids AREN'T allowed to vote).
Anyway, it's been one amazing race...now I'm just praying for the man's safety and hoping people aren't looking at me now and thinking I'm gloating. I'm not, I promise. I'm just glad to see that something NEW is happening. The world can FINALLY look at us and think we're good people again, not selfish brats that like to bully our way into whatever financially benefits us.
So, I'm all full of national pride again...and not in that "holier-than-thou-'cause-I'm-a-bigger-patriot-than-you" kind of way, either. Just the "glad-we're-back-to-normal-with-a-HUGE-sigh-of-relief" kinda way!
D.
I voted for Barack Obama!
Man, what a relief to finally get to SAY that! For those of you wondering why I kept it a secret, there's a ton of reasons. First of all, I'm a teacher, so I never tell the kids who I plan to vote for. They're always trying to gauge their own thoughts with my own and I want them to decide for themselves.
The biggest, though, was the subject of one of my earlier blogs and where the title for this one came from. I didn't want people throwing away my political opinion just because I was black. With some of the folks I know, just saying that I was voting for him would have made them decide to not listen to anything I had to say about ANYthing. They would have been disgusted, thinking I only voted for him because of his race and that "we all stick together".
This is patently NOT true. There are about as many divides in the black community as there are in the white community, so looking like someone does not automatically mean I'll be casting a vote for them. I was ready to vote for either of them back in the primaries, but in the end, I really just paid attention to what the candidates had to say and felt like Obama was the most likely candidate for CHANGE.
Watching the returns was amazing. I was completely overjoyed until I listened to McCain's concession speech.
And then, right in the middle, I started to cry.
All this time and I had truly forgotten that he was the FIRST (frankly, I forgot he was black at ALL!). He did such an amazing job of making this NOT about race that people of ALL races truly forgot. Personally, I really only cared about CHANGE, not making history or anything else. Even before I walked into the polling booth, Kevin nudged my elbow and whispered "Go make history." And it still didn't hit me.
But once I remembered, really understood, I wished that my (and his) grandmother had lived to see the day. My own parents (who never voted in their lives until 2000) even said they really had never expected to see this in their lifetime. Dad said he'd just never thought that far ahead. I liken it to the way one doesn't think of marrying flowers. It's not that they can't be pretty and sweet, but the idea of marriage to a plant just seems so farfetched as to never occur to you.
My favorite saying from all this was on a t-shirt:
Rosa sat so Martin could walk
Martin walked so Barack could run
Barack is running so our children can FLY.
Speaking of children, despite my attempts to NOT discuss my personal political views and stick to the basic facts of the American election process, this whole thing held my class in its thrall. I was so proud! Last week was NY Kids Voting, but I had NO info on the candidates. I was very disappointed because NO one should vote without finding out the FACTS about the people involved. So, without my telling them to, many of them went and did research on their own. When I mentioned that the US president is a world leader, one of my boys asked "How can we be so popular if our economy is so bad?" They kept asking great questions, so instead of sticking to the basics, we went deep into everything that's been hitting the US (war, economy, etc.). We even talked about what a patriot really is (ANYone who defends their country against outside influences). On Tuesday, we kept an electoral college map that refreshed every 10 minutes up on the tv with kid votes from all over the US. They were excited today when they checked the real map and saw how well the kids mirrored their parents in voting (which led to the discussion of why kids AREN'T allowed to vote).
Anyway, it's been one amazing race...now I'm just praying for the man's safety and hoping people aren't looking at me now and thinking I'm gloating. I'm not, I promise. I'm just glad to see that something NEW is happening. The world can FINALLY look at us and think we're good people again, not selfish brats that like to bully our way into whatever financially benefits us.
So, I'm all full of national pride again...and not in that "holier-than-thou-'cause-I'm-a-bigger-patriot-than-you" kind of way, either. Just the "glad-we're-back-to-normal-with-a-HUGE-sigh-of-relief" kinda way!
D.
Friday, August 29, 2008
On the heels of THAT...
With all the wonderful racially insensitive things I've bumped into this summer, you'd think I never crossed the Mason-Dixon line back in 2001...!
Without going into too many specifics, I had another issue in which someone relatively close to me didn't understand my feelings about something that was blatantly stereotypical of African Americans. I was worked up enough about this to ask friends what to do and while some wanted me to just tell her off, the others were of one mind:
"Why bother? This person is obviously not worth your time, so ignore them. You can't change their views!"
But to that, I reply with the words of James Baldwin: "We are responsible for the world in which we find ourselves, if only because we are the only sentient force that can change it."
And therein lies the rub. Once it comes to something racial, it goes beyond my personal wants and into African American ambassadorship. Frankly, I'd LOVE for this person to leave me alone for the rest of our lives (and I felt that way BEFORE all this), but, if I go and hurt their feelings, they'll think "Black people are too sensitive about these things...they don't understand MY feelings." And NOW I've made it difficult for some other black person down the road. It's a chain effect that my generation and those before me pay a GREAT deal of attention to. We watched great men like Martin Luther King and learned that if no one tried to change the attitudes of the world, we ALL suffered. We needed to show gratitude for those who fought for our rights before us by continuing to change people's views wherever we went and set positive examples for those to come. So, none of us are comfortable just letting ignorance or stubbornness in race relations go. I have friends who became doctors and lawyers and other upstanding community members. For my part, I became a teacher and teach kids as they grow to treat everyone with respect, no matter what family members might say. It's a lifelong balancing act, saying what you think, but finding the right words and ways to say it so that you make a difference.
Honestly, there's just so much more to being darker skinned than anyone ever imagines. You become the channel through which other races and cultures learn...and it's up to you what they take from their experience. Most of you are blessed with the ability to be responsible for ONLY your actions. If you say something rude or make your point to someone, they can ONLY say "Well, (insert your name here) sure pissed me off" or "(insert your name here) makes a good point". For me, it becomes "Well, black people ARE just as violent as they say" or "Well, there ARE some good ones after all". People will genuinely base their experiences on their one or two friends/enemies of a certain culture or race. If I'm lucky, I meet someone whose mind I change so that they think of me as JUST me (or just think positively about the whole race so they can spread the word to friends). Since I don't know whether it's a lucky day or not, I play diplomat rather than take the chance.
Anyway, on the up side of all this is school. The first week of school is ALWAYS the promise of fresh young minds that will learn and pass information along to the next person they meet. It's like my own lifelong grassroots effort! :-) So, for now, I'm looking to the future and shelving the past...after all, it makes it easier to travel down the road of life when you look where you're going!
D.
Without going into too many specifics, I had another issue in which someone relatively close to me didn't understand my feelings about something that was blatantly stereotypical of African Americans. I was worked up enough about this to ask friends what to do and while some wanted me to just tell her off, the others were of one mind:
"Why bother? This person is obviously not worth your time, so ignore them. You can't change their views!"
But to that, I reply with the words of James Baldwin: "We are responsible for the world in which we find ourselves, if only because we are the only sentient force that can change it."
And therein lies the rub. Once it comes to something racial, it goes beyond my personal wants and into African American ambassadorship. Frankly, I'd LOVE for this person to leave me alone for the rest of our lives (and I felt that way BEFORE all this), but, if I go and hurt their feelings, they'll think "Black people are too sensitive about these things...they don't understand MY feelings." And NOW I've made it difficult for some other black person down the road. It's a chain effect that my generation and those before me pay a GREAT deal of attention to. We watched great men like Martin Luther King and learned that if no one tried to change the attitudes of the world, we ALL suffered. We needed to show gratitude for those who fought for our rights before us by continuing to change people's views wherever we went and set positive examples for those to come. So, none of us are comfortable just letting ignorance or stubbornness in race relations go. I have friends who became doctors and lawyers and other upstanding community members. For my part, I became a teacher and teach kids as they grow to treat everyone with respect, no matter what family members might say. It's a lifelong balancing act, saying what you think, but finding the right words and ways to say it so that you make a difference.
Honestly, there's just so much more to being darker skinned than anyone ever imagines. You become the channel through which other races and cultures learn...and it's up to you what they take from their experience. Most of you are blessed with the ability to be responsible for ONLY your actions. If you say something rude or make your point to someone, they can ONLY say "Well, (insert your name here) sure pissed me off" or "(insert your name here) makes a good point". For me, it becomes "Well, black people ARE just as violent as they say" or "Well, there ARE some good ones after all". People will genuinely base their experiences on their one or two friends/enemies of a certain culture or race. If I'm lucky, I meet someone whose mind I change so that they think of me as JUST me (or just think positively about the whole race so they can spread the word to friends). Since I don't know whether it's a lucky day or not, I play diplomat rather than take the chance.
Anyway, on the up side of all this is school. The first week of school is ALWAYS the promise of fresh young minds that will learn and pass information along to the next person they meet. It's like my own lifelong grassroots effort! :-) So, for now, I'm looking to the future and shelving the past...after all, it makes it easier to travel down the road of life when you look where you're going!
D.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Spanish Team on Offense AND Defense...!
So I'm reading stuff about the photo the Spanish team did about the Chinese (the one where they do the slanted eyes thing) and I'm finding more and more people that don't understand the offense, here. So, let's put this whole "ethnic joke" thing into perspective, shall we?
Try putting yourselves in the Chinese players shoes for a moment. Picture how you've felt in school when someone made you feel stupid or look stupid, all the while laughing at you and getting others to join in. Picture the times that you've tried to fit in and felt out of place. Picture ANY time at ALL when all you wanted to do was blend in with others and not have someone point out how much you are NOT like them. This is how intelligent people of other races feel every time someone does another slanty eye joke, another ebonics joke or any other joke that makes their people look foolish.
I think the reason why many people are confused is because they can't fathom how a joke like that affects those people or reflects on those people, regardless of the intent. There seems to be a consensus in America that it's acceptable to make fun of another culture if you:
A) "don't mean anything by it" or say you're just joking (as in the Spanish photo
B) have done it long enough that it's okay to you or would take too much effort on your part to change (Ex--keeping the name Squaw in names of places or keeping offensive Native American images like the Cleveland Indians because so many people have a history with those things)
C) know a person or persons from that culture who will laugh with you or use the same words to make fun of a culture, which gives you license to do so (ex--"Well, my black friend says the "n" word, so I should be able to!" or "I know a ton of Chinese guys and THEY didn't mind!")
All of these are really just excuses to belittle someone else and make them feel like I mentioned above. Think about what you'd do if these guys had pretended to act like a person with mental disabilities or handicaps...we'd ALL be up in arms because it's considered rude. There is NO difference at ALL in making fun of another race or culture.
If you can take anything from this, remember this...just because a LOT of people have done it all their lives or think it's acceptable does NOT MAKE IT SO. After all, lots of folks liked slavery and backed the Holocaust...didn't make them RIGHT. And even if it's a joke to you (or you wouldn't MIND that same joke done on you), it's not always funny to the person who has to show people that they are SO MUCH MORE more than just differently shaped eyes, darker skin or a different accent.
Hope that helps...really! :-)
Try putting yourselves in the Chinese players shoes for a moment. Picture how you've felt in school when someone made you feel stupid or look stupid, all the while laughing at you and getting others to join in. Picture the times that you've tried to fit in and felt out of place. Picture ANY time at ALL when all you wanted to do was blend in with others and not have someone point out how much you are NOT like them. This is how intelligent people of other races feel every time someone does another slanty eye joke, another ebonics joke or any other joke that makes their people look foolish.
I think the reason why many people are confused is because they can't fathom how a joke like that affects those people or reflects on those people, regardless of the intent. There seems to be a consensus in America that it's acceptable to make fun of another culture if you:
A) "don't mean anything by it" or say you're just joking (as in the Spanish photo
B) have done it long enough that it's okay to you or would take too much effort on your part to change (Ex--keeping the name Squaw in names of places or keeping offensive Native American images like the Cleveland Indians because so many people have a history with those things)
C) know a person or persons from that culture who will laugh with you or use the same words to make fun of a culture, which gives you license to do so (ex--"Well, my black friend says the "n" word, so I should be able to!" or "I know a ton of Chinese guys and THEY didn't mind!")
All of these are really just excuses to belittle someone else and make them feel like I mentioned above. Think about what you'd do if these guys had pretended to act like a person with mental disabilities or handicaps...we'd ALL be up in arms because it's considered rude. There is NO difference at ALL in making fun of another race or culture.
If you can take anything from this, remember this...just because a LOT of people have done it all their lives or think it's acceptable does NOT MAKE IT SO. After all, lots of folks liked slavery and backed the Holocaust...didn't make them RIGHT. And even if it's a joke to you (or you wouldn't MIND that same joke done on you), it's not always funny to the person who has to show people that they are SO MUCH MORE more than just differently shaped eyes, darker skin or a different accent.
Hope that helps...really! :-)
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Kevin's new blog!
Finally, he's computer savvy!
Kevin finally got tired of writing long e-mails and decided to create a blog of his own. He's an amazing write in his own right with insights that crack us all up (when we have time to read them in our inboxes)! So, without further ado: http://whineratthegatesofdawn.blogspot.com/
Enjoy!
D.
Kevin finally got tired of writing long e-mails and decided to create a blog of his own. He's an amazing write in his own right with insights that crack us all up (when we have time to read them in our inboxes)! So, without further ado: http://whineratthegatesofdawn.blogspot.com/
Enjoy!
D.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Days of Saturdays Mornings Past (Kevin's Interlude)
Currently, I'm in Portland, Oregon for the Comedy Sportz World Tournament, so I've been without electronic sustenance for close to 5 days. While I've been gone (and ever BEFORE I left), my husband Kevin was been writing e-mails worth of blog notice. So until he decides to host his own blog, I've decided to post his ramblings here for everyone's enjoyment:
It's 7:00am on a Saturday morning. Daina won't get back from Portland until this Monday morning, so I figured that I'd visit an old friend.... Saturday Morning Cartoons. Only.... my friend wasn't there. Oh, there was something for kids 5 and under on PBS but that's ok. Long has PBS been the venue for the more junior execs of the Saturday Morning living room. Sesame Street, The Electric Company, The Great Space Coaster, etc. That's fine. I always believed the shortest of the shorties need orientation programs before they can understand the complexity of navigating the vast array of the more advanced viewing fare that they will face on Saturday Mornings. Rather than spend my time warming up with PBS, I decided to go right to the powerhouses.... NBC, CBS, and the venerable ABC. Now you're talkin'! These are the titans of Saturday Mornings! Who could escape their black hole strength pull on the eyes and minds of millions of Saturday Morning viewers across this great nation of ours.... who’d want to?
Ok, let’s just work up the channels then. NBC…Nbc…nbc… ???? Let’s check this remote to see if I’m on the right channel because this is the Today show. Hold on a second. The Today show DOES air on NBC! What the….!? Ok, let’s go to CBS then…. What the hell is Weekend Wake Up!? I’m already awake! I don’t need an hour-long program to tell me that!! Ok, ABC then! Good ol’ ABC! You won’t fail me! Long have you been the mightiest bastion of Saturday Morning Cartoondom! Who could match your unrivaled power when you drew the mighty sword of Warner Brothers? Hah! Animation! I knew you wouldn’t fail me! Let’s see….The Emperor’s New School? Ok, don’t be too hasty to judge, Kevin. After all, you really liked The Emperor’s New Groove. (30 minutes later) Ok, that wasn’t too bad. Kronk was pretty funny.
Quick check back with NBC….Nope, still the Today show. If I remember right, that damn thing is two hours long so there’s no point checking back with NBC until, at least, 9:00am. Hmm, CBS is still showing Weekend Wake Up! Well…yay them. Ok, then….back to ABC! The Replacements? Hmm, this isn’t based on that football movie with that thespian tour de force, Keanu Reeves, is it? Well, let’s take a look at it ‘cause…. (5 viewing minutes later) ….’cause I have to pass this channel on my way to another one. HEY!! What about WUTV!? The home of Astro Boy, Prince Planet, Ultraman, Battle of the Planets (G-Force), and the time honored Star Blazers! Ok, so what do we have here…Archie’s Weird Mysteries? Look, the Archies were, at best, a mediocre cartoon back in the day. And the only mystery with Archie is that he’s had two FINE-ASS women chasing him for what….four or more decades…and never tapped either of them! Supports my theory of Archie’s unrequited homosexual love for Jughead. They should move the whole gang out of Riverdale and drop them in Rivendell ‘cause Gimli would take Betty & Veronica into his bed chamber and knock something loose down there….he’d totally RUIN those chicks!!
Ok, it’s now 8:00am. The Today show is still going strong on NBC. On CBS I have a difficult decision…. Care Bears: Adventures in Care-A-Lot followed by Strawberry Shortcake. I lost the remote so I have a difficult decision on whether I want to keep looking for it or actually get up off of the couch and go over to change the channel! Here’s the real killer! On ABC there’s Good Morning America: Weekend Edition, which goes to 9:00am followed by A.M. Buffalo, then House Smarts, then back-to-back episodes of That’s So Raven, then Hannah Montana, and the torture ends with Suite Life of Zack & Cody. Great! More canned filth from Disney….Nazi douche bags! Which finds us at high noon where ABC launches into the delightful land of paid programming…You’re dead to me ABC!! DEAD!!
I was going to continue on with the rest of the morning up until noon when the kids should be outside playing by then anyways. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. NBC is pretty much adult programs until 11:00am where they have Jane and the Dragon. I’ve seen this show before. The story lines and dialogue are actually passable at times, however, there’s something in the CGI’d movement of the characters that makes you want to kick them until they’re all dead! CBS has Cake, Horseland (don’t ask me I don’t know but I don’t need to know), then Sushi Pack, Dino Squad, and Teen Kids News. YES….Yes, they’re every bit as awful as they sound. That leaves WUTV. Unfortunately, the fare on WUTV is little better than 30 minute animated commercial slots to sell the toys and cards that these cartoons are based upon. Remember, when cartoons use to come out first and then the related merchandise would follow….not the other way around? Let me give you an example. Between 8:00am and 9:00am are back-to-back episodes of a cartoon called Viva Piñata. Viva Piñata is a game for the Xbox 360 that eventually spawned (pretty accurate description) this cartoon of the same name. Here’s a brief synopsis:
In a garden on Piñata Island, a multitude of happy, colorful Piñata species live, frolic, dance, and grow. The goal of the piñatas is to fill themselves with candy, so they can be chosen by Piñata Central to entertain at birthday parties or retirement parties and other special celebrations. The piñatas have their own gardens and love to party. Each species is a blend of an animal and a sweet type of food.
It is here in the garden, among the burrowing Profitamole, the bovine Moozipan and the tree-swinging Cinnamonkey that we will find a small band of Piñata friends that have known one another since they were children when they first came to the garden.
Being a piñata means something different for piñatas. Some Piñatas can’t wait to reach their maximum candy level so they can leave the Piñata Factory over and over again, bringing joy to children and partygoers all over the world. Others are not happy about the prospect of being shipped off to a strange place where happy children in festive hats hang them from a tree, bludgeon them until their limbs fall off, and devour their innards. Still others physically train for the parties as if they were off to the Olympic Games — hardening their bodies to create a challenge for the children clamoring to get at their candy.
Why is it that Piñata Island is the only place in the world Piñatas can be found? Even the Piñatas don’t really know—but with so much happening in the garden, what with weird new Piñatas arriving all the time, crazed black-market Piñata poachers trying to muscle in on Piñata Central action, mysteries to solve, violent garden pests known as sours to contend with, and constant opportunities to dance—who has time to worry about it?
Yes, this is for real! Yes, I looked this shit up! No, I’m not feeling all that proud of myself at the moment! I feel the need to get into the shower and scrub my skin until it bleeds!!
Anyways, my point is that, Saturday Mornings are no longer the brief escape from the normal woes that accompany childhood. There’s nothing to look forward to in regards to Saturday Morning Cartoons. Can they still be found on cable? Of course, but that taints it somehow. I dunno why, it just does. Kind of like chasing that inexpressible dream that was out there somewhere but time has passed it by. Cartoons have no substance nowadays. Kids walk away from them with absolutely nothing or some cheesy lesson that their parents should have taught them in the first place. Cartoons are entertainment and an escape and even an enrichment! There are those who would say to me, “Aww, c’mon! Look at what you watched! How are you gonna tell me that, after watching cartoon characters like Bugs Bunny & Daffy Duck, that you came away with anything more than the kids watching Pokemon & Yu-Gi-Oh?” Easy! Bugs Bunny & Daffy Duck were my first exposure to Beethoven, Mozart, Rossini, Wagner, and many other classical composers. Hell, Daffy even showed me that you don’t always win. Sometimes life just plain sucks but you rebound and come back next time.
I guess I just got overly excited at the prospect of spending a quiet Saturday morning watching cartoons for a change. I’m serious….I was REALLY looking forward to this last night as I went to bed, each time I got up in the night to pee, and when my alarm clock this morning was a cardinal perched on the hemlock right outside my bedroom window singing in the gentle morning rain. This all came crashing down on me when I realized that the days of broadcast television’s weekly high point, the Saturday Morning Cartoons, a part of my childhood was gone. Ya know what? That just plain sucks. I guess I’ll just have to stand back up, brush the dust off, and move onto something else I really like.
Kevin
It's 7:00am on a Saturday morning. Daina won't get back from Portland until this Monday morning, so I figured that I'd visit an old friend.... Saturday Morning Cartoons. Only.... my friend wasn't there. Oh, there was something for kids 5 and under on PBS but that's ok. Long has PBS been the venue for the more junior execs of the Saturday Morning living room. Sesame Street, The Electric Company, The Great Space Coaster, etc. That's fine. I always believed the shortest of the shorties need orientation programs before they can understand the complexity of navigating the vast array of the more advanced viewing fare that they will face on Saturday Mornings. Rather than spend my time warming up with PBS, I decided to go right to the powerhouses.... NBC, CBS, and the venerable ABC. Now you're talkin'! These are the titans of Saturday Mornings! Who could escape their black hole strength pull on the eyes and minds of millions of Saturday Morning viewers across this great nation of ours.... who’d want to?
Ok, let’s just work up the channels then. NBC…Nbc…nbc… ???? Let’s check this remote to see if I’m on the right channel because this is the Today show. Hold on a second. The Today show DOES air on NBC! What the….!? Ok, let’s go to CBS then…. What the hell is Weekend Wake Up!? I’m already awake! I don’t need an hour-long program to tell me that!! Ok, ABC then! Good ol’ ABC! You won’t fail me! Long have you been the mightiest bastion of Saturday Morning Cartoondom! Who could match your unrivaled power when you drew the mighty sword of Warner Brothers? Hah! Animation! I knew you wouldn’t fail me! Let’s see….The Emperor’s New School? Ok, don’t be too hasty to judge, Kevin. After all, you really liked The Emperor’s New Groove. (30 minutes later) Ok, that wasn’t too bad. Kronk was pretty funny.
Quick check back with NBC….Nope, still the Today show. If I remember right, that damn thing is two hours long so there’s no point checking back with NBC until, at least, 9:00am. Hmm, CBS is still showing Weekend Wake Up! Well…yay them. Ok, then….back to ABC! The Replacements? Hmm, this isn’t based on that football movie with that thespian tour de force, Keanu Reeves, is it? Well, let’s take a look at it ‘cause…. (5 viewing minutes later) ….’cause I have to pass this channel on my way to another one. HEY!! What about WUTV!? The home of Astro Boy, Prince Planet, Ultraman, Battle of the Planets (G-Force), and the time honored Star Blazers! Ok, so what do we have here…Archie’s Weird Mysteries? Look, the Archies were, at best, a mediocre cartoon back in the day. And the only mystery with Archie is that he’s had two FINE-ASS women chasing him for what….four or more decades…and never tapped either of them! Supports my theory of Archie’s unrequited homosexual love for Jughead. They should move the whole gang out of Riverdale and drop them in Rivendell ‘cause Gimli would take Betty & Veronica into his bed chamber and knock something loose down there….he’d totally RUIN those chicks!!
Ok, it’s now 8:00am. The Today show is still going strong on NBC. On CBS I have a difficult decision…. Care Bears: Adventures in Care-A-Lot followed by Strawberry Shortcake. I lost the remote so I have a difficult decision on whether I want to keep looking for it or actually get up off of the couch and go over to change the channel! Here’s the real killer! On ABC there’s Good Morning America: Weekend Edition, which goes to 9:00am followed by A.M. Buffalo, then House Smarts, then back-to-back episodes of That’s So Raven, then Hannah Montana, and the torture ends with Suite Life of Zack & Cody. Great! More canned filth from Disney….Nazi douche bags! Which finds us at high noon where ABC launches into the delightful land of paid programming…You’re dead to me ABC!! DEAD!!
I was going to continue on with the rest of the morning up until noon when the kids should be outside playing by then anyways. However, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. NBC is pretty much adult programs until 11:00am where they have Jane and the Dragon. I’ve seen this show before. The story lines and dialogue are actually passable at times, however, there’s something in the CGI’d movement of the characters that makes you want to kick them until they’re all dead! CBS has Cake, Horseland (don’t ask me I don’t know but I don’t need to know), then Sushi Pack, Dino Squad, and Teen Kids News. YES….Yes, they’re every bit as awful as they sound. That leaves WUTV. Unfortunately, the fare on WUTV is little better than 30 minute animated commercial slots to sell the toys and cards that these cartoons are based upon. Remember, when cartoons use to come out first and then the related merchandise would follow….not the other way around? Let me give you an example. Between 8:00am and 9:00am are back-to-back episodes of a cartoon called Viva Piñata. Viva Piñata is a game for the Xbox 360 that eventually spawned (pretty accurate description) this cartoon of the same name. Here’s a brief synopsis:
In a garden on Piñata Island, a multitude of happy, colorful Piñata species live, frolic, dance, and grow. The goal of the piñatas is to fill themselves with candy, so they can be chosen by Piñata Central to entertain at birthday parties or retirement parties and other special celebrations. The piñatas have their own gardens and love to party. Each species is a blend of an animal and a sweet type of food.
It is here in the garden, among the burrowing Profitamole, the bovine Moozipan and the tree-swinging Cinnamonkey that we will find a small band of Piñata friends that have known one another since they were children when they first came to the garden.
Being a piñata means something different for piñatas. Some Piñatas can’t wait to reach their maximum candy level so they can leave the Piñata Factory over and over again, bringing joy to children and partygoers all over the world. Others are not happy about the prospect of being shipped off to a strange place where happy children in festive hats hang them from a tree, bludgeon them until their limbs fall off, and devour their innards. Still others physically train for the parties as if they were off to the Olympic Games — hardening their bodies to create a challenge for the children clamoring to get at their candy.
Why is it that Piñata Island is the only place in the world Piñatas can be found? Even the Piñatas don’t really know—but with so much happening in the garden, what with weird new Piñatas arriving all the time, crazed black-market Piñata poachers trying to muscle in on Piñata Central action, mysteries to solve, violent garden pests known as sours to contend with, and constant opportunities to dance—who has time to worry about it?
Yes, this is for real! Yes, I looked this shit up! No, I’m not feeling all that proud of myself at the moment! I feel the need to get into the shower and scrub my skin until it bleeds!!
Anyways, my point is that, Saturday Mornings are no longer the brief escape from the normal woes that accompany childhood. There’s nothing to look forward to in regards to Saturday Morning Cartoons. Can they still be found on cable? Of course, but that taints it somehow. I dunno why, it just does. Kind of like chasing that inexpressible dream that was out there somewhere but time has passed it by. Cartoons have no substance nowadays. Kids walk away from them with absolutely nothing or some cheesy lesson that their parents should have taught them in the first place. Cartoons are entertainment and an escape and even an enrichment! There are those who would say to me, “Aww, c’mon! Look at what you watched! How are you gonna tell me that, after watching cartoon characters like Bugs Bunny & Daffy Duck, that you came away with anything more than the kids watching Pokemon & Yu-Gi-Oh?” Easy! Bugs Bunny & Daffy Duck were my first exposure to Beethoven, Mozart, Rossini, Wagner, and many other classical composers. Hell, Daffy even showed me that you don’t always win. Sometimes life just plain sucks but you rebound and come back next time.
I guess I just got overly excited at the prospect of spending a quiet Saturday morning watching cartoons for a change. I’m serious….I was REALLY looking forward to this last night as I went to bed, each time I got up in the night to pee, and when my alarm clock this morning was a cardinal perched on the hemlock right outside my bedroom window singing in the gentle morning rain. This all came crashing down on me when I realized that the days of broadcast television’s weekly high point, the Saturday Morning Cartoons, a part of my childhood was gone. Ya know what? That just plain sucks. I guess I’ll just have to stand back up, brush the dust off, and move onto something else I really like.
Kevin
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Happy Anniversary, me!
On a completely unrelated note to my previous rant, today is the day I married Kevin. Details I remember:
It was insanely hot all week in Dallas, Texas, but the day of my wedding had a little rain in the morning, cooling things off to a nice 80 something. The sky was that beautiful clear blue and all clouds were gone by the time we got to the church.
Bikers came up and stared into the window of our limo at the reception before we got out. I offered to let them get in when I got out.
My parents invited TONS of their friends because I'm their only daughter and first born child, but most of the people that actually CAME were Kevin's and my friends.
Kevin Pohle, a friend of Kevin's and a groomsman, had his appendix removed a day before the wedding and couldn't be in it with us. Instead, we had Chris McDermott, the guy that Kevin and I met each other through. Kevin still made it, although he couldn't wear a tux. We took a pic of him showing us the bandage where they pulled the appendix out.
All my mom's brothers and sisters except for one made the wedding, and nearly all the cousins came as well. This was the first time in YEARS that we even came CLOSE.
My dad's father, who never made it to the wedding because he was bedridden, described my dress to my grandmother perfectly when she came home. The pictures of me in my wedding dress came MONTHS after he passed away.
I ate breakfast that morning. Kevin did NOT and informed the coordinator at the reception of this when she tried to get him to get up and do the first dance before he had his food.
I gave a happy war whoop as we left the chapel as husband and wife.
My dad made me laugh by telling me that Kevin's friend Joe had pretended to be looking for Kevin before the wedding, saying he'd seen Kevin peeling out of the parking lot earlier...
My bridesmaids sang "Going to the Chapel" to me.
My dad and I chose the same song for our dance together"(If I Could"), but didn't know it until right before. It made me cry...a LOT!
My brother was horrified at the thought of Kevin and I going upstairs for the honeymoon night.
The flower girl (my niece-to-be at the time) florally assaulted her great aunt with a handful of fake rose petals when she got to her pew in the church.
My dad got mad at the limo company for charging us for the full night when we just wanted to pay for the drive from the church to the reception hall. So, when the guy got ready to drive away, my dad said "Oh, no...we have you for the whole NIGHT, sir." Then he came in and announced to the entire room that they would be doing limo tours to Dallas and back all night. There were folks who never got to ride in a limo and never saw downtown Dallas at night that got to see BOTH, thanks to dad's ingenuity.
Anyway, all this only serves to remind me that my relationship with Kevin these past nine years (and even with many of you) is something that's remained a stalwart constant for me. My wedding day still sits in my mind as one of those great moments that I have no idea what I did to deserve, but am MIGHTY glad that happened. While I can look at those around me and see how they've changed, I'm far more amazed at how much things between Kevin and I have stayed the same. Despite having been around me for 9 years, he still seems to see me as his fair maiden (which is only fitting, as I see him as my deserving hero!).
Here's to another 9 years of marital bliss (bliss = all the stuff that comes with a real relationship, like arguments over street directions and laughing during romantic moments, illness, craziness and the other -nesses that happen in the real world)!
It was insanely hot all week in Dallas, Texas, but the day of my wedding had a little rain in the morning, cooling things off to a nice 80 something. The sky was that beautiful clear blue and all clouds were gone by the time we got to the church.
Bikers came up and stared into the window of our limo at the reception before we got out. I offered to let them get in when I got out.
My parents invited TONS of their friends because I'm their only daughter and first born child, but most of the people that actually CAME were Kevin's and my friends.
Kevin Pohle, a friend of Kevin's and a groomsman, had his appendix removed a day before the wedding and couldn't be in it with us. Instead, we had Chris McDermott, the guy that Kevin and I met each other through. Kevin still made it, although he couldn't wear a tux. We took a pic of him showing us the bandage where they pulled the appendix out.
All my mom's brothers and sisters except for one made the wedding, and nearly all the cousins came as well. This was the first time in YEARS that we even came CLOSE.
My dad's father, who never made it to the wedding because he was bedridden, described my dress to my grandmother perfectly when she came home. The pictures of me in my wedding dress came MONTHS after he passed away.
I ate breakfast that morning. Kevin did NOT and informed the coordinator at the reception of this when she tried to get him to get up and do the first dance before he had his food.
I gave a happy war whoop as we left the chapel as husband and wife.
My dad made me laugh by telling me that Kevin's friend Joe had pretended to be looking for Kevin before the wedding, saying he'd seen Kevin peeling out of the parking lot earlier...
My bridesmaids sang "Going to the Chapel" to me.
My dad and I chose the same song for our dance together"(If I Could"), but didn't know it until right before. It made me cry...a LOT!
My brother was horrified at the thought of Kevin and I going upstairs for the honeymoon night.
The flower girl (my niece-to-be at the time) florally assaulted her great aunt with a handful of fake rose petals when she got to her pew in the church.
My dad got mad at the limo company for charging us for the full night when we just wanted to pay for the drive from the church to the reception hall. So, when the guy got ready to drive away, my dad said "Oh, no...we have you for the whole NIGHT, sir." Then he came in and announced to the entire room that they would be doing limo tours to Dallas and back all night. There were folks who never got to ride in a limo and never saw downtown Dallas at night that got to see BOTH, thanks to dad's ingenuity.
Anyway, all this only serves to remind me that my relationship with Kevin these past nine years (and even with many of you) is something that's remained a stalwart constant for me. My wedding day still sits in my mind as one of those great moments that I have no idea what I did to deserve, but am MIGHTY glad that happened. While I can look at those around me and see how they've changed, I'm far more amazed at how much things between Kevin and I have stayed the same. Despite having been around me for 9 years, he still seems to see me as his fair maiden (which is only fitting, as I see him as my deserving hero!).
Here's to another 9 years of marital bliss (bliss = all the stuff that comes with a real relationship, like arguments over street directions and laughing during romantic moments, illness, craziness and the other -nesses that happen in the real world)!
My Blue Period
So, I came into school two days ago and the custodian told me they were going to repaint my room and the faculty room.
Now, before you get all excited for me, let me give you some background. From my first year in 1995 up until last year, I had a futon bunkbed in my room. This bed was my reading center, my reward for kids who did homework 6 days in a row and basically, the one thing that I've kept as my own in the many moves I had to make (2 states and about 6 different classrooms). I had even decided if the Highlander and I had a child, the bed would come home for them (silly, I know, since we'dve just gotten new stuff, but still!).
Last year, my principal told me I'd have to get rid of it because it was a fire hazard.
I was DEVASTATED. I begged him to let me keep it, but he said it had to be done, district rules. Honestly, I actually CRIED bitter tears in front of him because the one unifying piece of my educational domain was going to have to go. It also meant yet another piece of the babymaking project was going up in smoke. I ended up giving it to one of my students that had come a long way that year and felt, in some way, like it had practically gone to our "child".
Anyway, I went through a minor grieving period in which I needed to refocus myself into a new project. As a young teacher, I had always wanted to paint my walls black and put glow in the dark stars on them. As age mellowed me, I settled on painting it a deep blue one day. With the bunkbed agony still fresh, I suddenly had a way of reclaiming my domain. I figured it could be a sort of "rebound" bunkbed for me. I asked my principal if it was okay with him and he agreed I could paint it any way I wanted.
So, I chose the color (which is actually the same blue as the school shirt I'm wearing in my picture), bought all the materials and I spent 2 weeks on and off in the summer painting it with some of my kids. The room is EASILY 14 feet tall, so I had to stand on furniture on tiptoe with a roller for the whole upper half to make it work. This was also a second story room in a NY building with NO AC in the summertime, so there were days I thought I might lose it to heatstroke. When we finished, we signed our names in an inconspicuous corner and once again, my room was my own. All year long, people talked about how cool it looked and how it brightened things up, etc. Even my principal came around and admitted it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be when I said a "darker blue".
Oh, and an important sidenote: as I went around the district for different meetings that year, I noticed that other folks had sofas, chairs, pillows and all kinds of other stuff that would be considered a MUCH bigger fire hazard than my metal pipe bunkbed with the one futon mattress and one twin mattress. Even the teacher next door got her wooden swing from downstairs where it was going to be thrown out and brought it back into her room. I was the ONLY person who had to get rid of my "fire hazard". Hmmm...
This bring us back to the moment that our custodian informed me that the principal had told him to repaint the room. The custodian added quietly that "he" (pointing to the office) had NEVER liked the color. Only our custodian knew that this was basically a covert operation, since no one is in the building for the summer. I received no calls or messages...if I hadn't been in the building to pick up some summer school stuff, I would have come back to off white walls.
So, I charged downstairs, ready to rationally demand that my room NOT be changed, not when I had spent my own time and money on the whole thing. I planned to go over his head to the union or the superintendent if need be, since no one else's room was being painted My principal told me the same thing from last year...that the district wanted it redone and there was nothing he could do...
Things get a little fuzzy for me at this point, so let me give you more background while the me of 2 days ago slowly goes to the mental zoo!
For various reasons, my family and I moved quite a bit. I went to 11 different schools in my educational career (4 elementary, 1 middle, 3 high school and 3 colleges) and over the span of my life, have lived in 18 different houses/apartments across 6 different states and done more jobs than I care to count. I've even TAUGHT in 3 different districts over 2 states and done more than one program/grade level in each one. As you can imagine, I have some REAL deep seated issues with permanence and stability...!
So, how can I describe the conversation in the office AFTER my principal confirmed the repainting story? Picture this: tell a 6 year old that they're going to Disneyworld. Promise them this will happen, repeatedly for like a WEEK. Show them every Disney movie ever made in that week. Throw them a Disney theme going away party with all their friends. Pack up the car, get Mickey ears to wear on the ride down and even strap the kid into the backseat and turn the car on. Then tell them you can't take them after all, that you just made it all up. Now make that kid a 38 year old black woman that already has had to give up an item she treasured for the same reason. Oh, and did I also mention that my monthly visitor dropped in just TODAY?
So, back up to two days of PMS ago...!
I remember...LOTS of crying and hysterical breathing. I remember eschewing tissues for the backs of my arms. I remember bringing up very salient and logical debate points such as "but you SAID!!! You TOTALLY SAID I COULD!!!" and "You don't even CARE, you're just being MEAN for no REASON!" and "Why? Why would you DO this to me? What did I DO? Did I not TEACH right?" I definitely remember saying something to the effect of it being HIM that didn't like it, not the district and that he was "sneakin' around". I think I even might have said "It's like you're not my FRIEND no more!!!" I was basically just like the parents from this Burger King commercial, only a lot louder.
The one thing I know for sure was that my principal was in NO way ready for this from me. I'm the tomboy of my building, the easygoing one that could care less about fashion sense, cute stuff or anything related to interior design. I NEVER cry because I hate that place that crying takes me to and I hate that it wins arguments that SHOULD have been won with words.
This caught him (and, frankly, ME) totally by surprise. After all, he was all geared up for an argument, a man-to-man talk. Once the mental revolution began, he was able to get out one coherent sentence, which was "Well, I'm not in the habit of taking things from people." Everything else was cut off by my insane rant through the Halls of Fairness (where I believe I might have flung feces, lit the ancient tomes on fire and written the words "NO GOAL" in bright red lipstick on the statue of Blind Justice).
Anyway, 2 days and a sinus cold later (MAN, did I cry HARD!), my room is NOT being repainted. I've fully worked through my issues (translation: had ice cream and a hug from Kevin) and I believe my principal and I have reached a new level of communication and understanding ( despite the restraining order)!
D.
Now, before you get all excited for me, let me give you some background. From my first year in 1995 up until last year, I had a futon bunkbed in my room. This bed was my reading center, my reward for kids who did homework 6 days in a row and basically, the one thing that I've kept as my own in the many moves I had to make (2 states and about 6 different classrooms). I had even decided if the Highlander and I had a child, the bed would come home for them (silly, I know, since we'dve just gotten new stuff, but still!).
Last year, my principal told me I'd have to get rid of it because it was a fire hazard.
I was DEVASTATED. I begged him to let me keep it, but he said it had to be done, district rules. Honestly, I actually CRIED bitter tears in front of him because the one unifying piece of my educational domain was going to have to go. It also meant yet another piece of the babymaking project was going up in smoke. I ended up giving it to one of my students that had come a long way that year and felt, in some way, like it had practically gone to our "child".
Anyway, I went through a minor grieving period in which I needed to refocus myself into a new project. As a young teacher, I had always wanted to paint my walls black and put glow in the dark stars on them. As age mellowed me, I settled on painting it a deep blue one day. With the bunkbed agony still fresh, I suddenly had a way of reclaiming my domain. I figured it could be a sort of "rebound" bunkbed for me. I asked my principal if it was okay with him and he agreed I could paint it any way I wanted.
So, I chose the color (which is actually the same blue as the school shirt I'm wearing in my picture), bought all the materials and I spent 2 weeks on and off in the summer painting it with some of my kids. The room is EASILY 14 feet tall, so I had to stand on furniture on tiptoe with a roller for the whole upper half to make it work. This was also a second story room in a NY building with NO AC in the summertime, so there were days I thought I might lose it to heatstroke. When we finished, we signed our names in an inconspicuous corner and once again, my room was my own. All year long, people talked about how cool it looked and how it brightened things up, etc. Even my principal came around and admitted it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be when I said a "darker blue".
Oh, and an important sidenote: as I went around the district for different meetings that year, I noticed that other folks had sofas, chairs, pillows and all kinds of other stuff that would be considered a MUCH bigger fire hazard than my metal pipe bunkbed with the one futon mattress and one twin mattress. Even the teacher next door got her wooden swing from downstairs where it was going to be thrown out and brought it back into her room. I was the ONLY person who had to get rid of my "fire hazard". Hmmm...
This bring us back to the moment that our custodian informed me that the principal had told him to repaint the room. The custodian added quietly that "he" (pointing to the office) had NEVER liked the color. Only our custodian knew that this was basically a covert operation, since no one is in the building for the summer. I received no calls or messages...if I hadn't been in the building to pick up some summer school stuff, I would have come back to off white walls.
So, I charged downstairs, ready to rationally demand that my room NOT be changed, not when I had spent my own time and money on the whole thing. I planned to go over his head to the union or the superintendent if need be, since no one else's room was being painted My principal told me the same thing from last year...that the district wanted it redone and there was nothing he could do...
Things get a little fuzzy for me at this point, so let me give you more background while the me of 2 days ago slowly goes to the mental zoo!
For various reasons, my family and I moved quite a bit. I went to 11 different schools in my educational career (4 elementary, 1 middle, 3 high school and 3 colleges) and over the span of my life, have lived in 18 different houses/apartments across 6 different states and done more jobs than I care to count. I've even TAUGHT in 3 different districts over 2 states and done more than one program/grade level in each one. As you can imagine, I have some REAL deep seated issues with permanence and stability...!
So, how can I describe the conversation in the office AFTER my principal confirmed the repainting story? Picture this: tell a 6 year old that they're going to Disneyworld. Promise them this will happen, repeatedly for like a WEEK. Show them every Disney movie ever made in that week. Throw them a Disney theme going away party with all their friends. Pack up the car, get Mickey ears to wear on the ride down and even strap the kid into the backseat and turn the car on. Then tell them you can't take them after all, that you just made it all up. Now make that kid a 38 year old black woman that already has had to give up an item she treasured for the same reason. Oh, and did I also mention that my monthly visitor dropped in just TODAY?
So, back up to two days of PMS ago...!
I remember...LOTS of crying and hysterical breathing. I remember eschewing tissues for the backs of my arms. I remember bringing up very salient and logical debate points such as "but you SAID!!! You TOTALLY SAID I COULD!!!" and "You don't even CARE, you're just being MEAN for no REASON!" and "Why? Why would you DO this to me? What did I DO? Did I not TEACH right?" I definitely remember saying something to the effect of it being HIM that didn't like it, not the district and that he was "sneakin' around". I think I even might have said "It's like you're not my FRIEND no more!!!" I was basically just like the parents from this Burger King commercial, only a lot louder.
The one thing I know for sure was that my principal was in NO way ready for this from me. I'm the tomboy of my building, the easygoing one that could care less about fashion sense, cute stuff or anything related to interior design. I NEVER cry because I hate that place that crying takes me to and I hate that it wins arguments that SHOULD have been won with words.
This caught him (and, frankly, ME) totally by surprise. After all, he was all geared up for an argument, a man-to-man talk. Once the mental revolution began, he was able to get out one coherent sentence, which was "Well, I'm not in the habit of taking things from people." Everything else was cut off by my insane rant through the Halls of Fairness (where I believe I might have flung feces, lit the ancient tomes on fire and written the words "NO GOAL" in bright red lipstick on the statue of Blind Justice).
Anyway, 2 days and a sinus cold later (MAN, did I cry HARD!), my room is NOT being repainted. I've fully worked through my issues (translation: had ice cream and a hug from Kevin) and I believe my principal and I have reached a new level of communication and understanding ( despite the restraining order)!
D.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Don't Go Where I Can't Follow...
So, I'm talking with Kevin and we're having that morbid discussion about what would happen if either one of us died. This becomes a bigger deal for me because I've moved away from my immediate family to live here in Western NY. I've lived here since 2001, and now we have the home of our dreams, but if Kevin was gone, would I be able to stand living here with nothing but memories of him to comfort me?
I'm also not the best at female relationships, so would I have a bunch of girlfriends around to help me through the rough patches? Oh, I know Kevin's family would be there (Maureen & Kathy are like sisters to me),and we've got lots of friends through letterboxing and gaming, but I never really hang out with folks at work or anything and aside from monthly hangout time, we never see any of our friends. Would that be enough to keep me in WNY? It's a strange situation. I think if I went HOME to my family in Texas for comfort, I would probably never come back. If my parents came up here to help me cope for a while, it'd be more of a 50/50 thing.
Morbid thoughts, huh? Still, I'm of the mind that if you TELL yourself you can't handle something, you won't be able to when the time comes. So, I'm not SURE, but I know I'll be able to move on...I'll NEED to.
In the meantime, we're both telling each other what Sam said to Frodo: "Don't go where I can't follow."
I'm also not the best at female relationships, so would I have a bunch of girlfriends around to help me through the rough patches? Oh, I know Kevin's family would be there (Maureen & Kathy are like sisters to me),and we've got lots of friends through letterboxing and gaming, but I never really hang out with folks at work or anything and aside from monthly hangout time, we never see any of our friends. Would that be enough to keep me in WNY? It's a strange situation. I think if I went HOME to my family in Texas for comfort, I would probably never come back. If my parents came up here to help me cope for a while, it'd be more of a 50/50 thing.
Morbid thoughts, huh? Still, I'm of the mind that if you TELL yourself you can't handle something, you won't be able to when the time comes. So, I'm not SURE, but I know I'll be able to move on...I'll NEED to.
In the meantime, we're both telling each other what Sam said to Frodo: "Don't go where I can't follow."
Thursday, April 24, 2008
First bats and now a stake through the...palm?
Well, medical fate strikes again. FOr the past few days, I've been cutting open tennis balls to put on the legs of my kids' chairs at school. Now, I know what you're saying...this woman is BRILLIANT! What amazing judgment she must have to think that cutting tennis balls open with a box cutter when NBC is running their Thursday night lineup is a GREAT plan! And you are RIGHT! I AM brilliant...if you expand your definition of brilliant to include "people dumb enough to stab themselves in the palm after being told by no less than 5 people on separate occasions that it would happen". If that's what passes for brilliant, then I'm a certified MENSA candidate.
Almost 2 and a half hours after the blood started spurting and I'm now sporting 4 stitches. I'm also required to go get a tetanus shot within the next three days (which means tomorrow with the show going all weekend), since they were out of them tonight. Yay smart people like me!!!
D.
Almost 2 and a half hours after the blood started spurting and I'm now sporting 4 stitches. I'm also required to go get a tetanus shot within the next three days (which means tomorrow with the show going all weekend), since they were out of them tonight. Yay smart people like me!!!
D.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Buffalo Comedy Sportz Improv-a-thon
If you are going to be in the Buffalo area between April 26th-27th, come see me play in a 29-1/2 hour improv show with Buffalo Comedy Sportz (my first time with the troupe)! There will be food and drinks, prizes, and even a Chinese auction! All the proceeds will be used to send my team to the 2008 Comedy Sportz World Championship in Portland, Oregon this summer.
Also, I need pledges! You can pledge me per hour or just give me all your money (and I mean all of it). Email me directly for details.
So to recap:
WHAT: Comedy Sportz Improv-a-thon
WHERE: The Riviera Theatre, 67 Webster St, North Tonawanda
WHEN: April 26th at 4:00pm-April 27th 9:30 pm
WHO: Me and the other members of Buffalo's Comedy Sportz and YOU, our loyal fans
WHY: To send us to the Comedy Sportz World Championship in Portland, OR
AND: Give me money and get a genuine thank you!
PLUS: Chinese auction, yummy foods, drinks for the whole family, and prizes!
And remember, even if you don't live in Buffalo, you can still give me money and get that genuine thank you over the internet.
For more info, check the Facebook event here:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=10924904118
OR the My Space Event here:
http://events.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=events.detail&eventID=420517.82916&Mytoken=EB484BEB-2FA1-4B7A-AD9A11A9C775BCB414263861
Also, I need pledges! You can pledge me per hour or just give me all your money (and I mean all of it). Email me directly for details.
So to recap:
WHAT: Comedy Sportz Improv-a-thon
WHERE: The Riviera Theatre, 67 Webster St, North Tonawanda
WHEN: April 26th at 4:00pm-April 27th 9:30 pm
WHO: Me and the other members of Buffalo's Comedy Sportz and YOU, our loyal fans
WHY: To send us to the Comedy Sportz World Championship in Portland, OR
AND: Give me money and get a genuine thank you!
PLUS: Chinese auction, yummy foods, drinks for the whole family, and prizes!
And remember, even if you don't live in Buffalo, you can still give me money and get that genuine thank you over the internet.
For more info, check the Facebook event here:
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=10924904118
OR the My Space Event here:
http://events.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=events.detail&eventID=420517.82916&Mytoken=EB484BEB-2FA1-4B7A-AD9A11A9C775BCB414263861
Sunday, April 13, 2008
UBCon!!!
Well, we came, we saw, we gamed the whole !@#$ weekend!
UBCon (http://wings.buffalo.edu/sa/sarpa/SARPAWEB/ubcon.php) was AWESOME! Kevin goes every year, but I've had this pathological fear of gaming with strangers since middle school, so this was my first time. Frankly, if not for the fact that I was honoring the passing of a friend of ours a few years ago, I might not have even done it, but I'm SOOO glad I did.
Aside from our regular gaming group, which we did on site on Saturday, we got to game with one of the best, Nicolas Logue of Eberron campaign fame (http://www.sinisteradventures.com/) and he was seriously cool. It was like being in a movie with your favorite characters. He never ONCE looked down at a book, just ran things and went with the flow (which I loved). I played a pre-gen character for the first game with him, then he let me play Adrian Quicksilver for the other two, which was a ton of fun. Adrian has a habit of being dropped into worlds he's not ready for because people like the pitch of his terrified screams and the tone of his diplomatic, yet insistence pleading to leave the (insert favorite tentacled evil beastie here) in favor of a hasty retreat. At one point, Adrian was actually falling down a temple tunnel with the acid breath of a gargantuan black dragon surrounding him...and that was one of the CALMER moments!
Anyway, we had a ball, as did our other gamer friends because of Nick. Wish you'dve all been there, too...can't help but wanna share the wealth! BTW, if you want to see him in DM action, check him out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9MWwPi3py4 He's not quite as animated as he was for our games in this one (and his hair's shorter now), but he's still the schiznit!
D.
UBCon (http://wings.buffalo.edu/sa/sarpa/SARPAWEB/ubcon.php) was AWESOME! Kevin goes every year, but I've had this pathological fear of gaming with strangers since middle school, so this was my first time. Frankly, if not for the fact that I was honoring the passing of a friend of ours a few years ago, I might not have even done it, but I'm SOOO glad I did.
Aside from our regular gaming group, which we did on site on Saturday, we got to game with one of the best, Nicolas Logue of Eberron campaign fame (http://www.sinisteradventures.com/) and he was seriously cool. It was like being in a movie with your favorite characters. He never ONCE looked down at a book, just ran things and went with the flow (which I loved). I played a pre-gen character for the first game with him, then he let me play Adrian Quicksilver for the other two, which was a ton of fun. Adrian has a habit of being dropped into worlds he's not ready for because people like the pitch of his terrified screams and the tone of his diplomatic, yet insistence pleading to leave the (insert favorite tentacled evil beastie here) in favor of a hasty retreat. At one point, Adrian was actually falling down a temple tunnel with the acid breath of a gargantuan black dragon surrounding him...and that was one of the CALMER moments!
Anyway, we had a ball, as did our other gamer friends because of Nick. Wish you'dve all been there, too...can't help but wanna share the wealth! BTW, if you want to see him in DM action, check him out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9MWwPi3py4 He's not quite as animated as he was for our games in this one (and his hair's shorter now), but he's still the schiznit!
D.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Odyssey of the Heart
I know, sounds corny, but I had the BEST experience this year with my Odyssey of the Mind team! For those of you that don't know what Odyssey IS, check out their website and get a team GOING! (http://www.odysseyofthemind.com/) I personally have been the coordinator for the coaches and teams in my district for about 5 years now and even helped out with spontaneous for a while before that. This was my very first year as a full time coach and it was great!
Our team didn't place in the top 5, but WOW, what a group! They've been at this since September, all of them new to the experience, but did the best performance they've ever done in their lives and supported each other like true champions the whole way. We won in our regional tournament and went on to the New York State Tournament. We were like country mice in Times Square...everything was so big and glamorous and amazing on the SUNY Binghamton campus. They did the spontaneous event at a mind blowing 8:19 in the morning (mind blowing for folks like ME who couldn't sleep a WINK from excitement!) and did their long term problem in the afternoon. All day long, they watched other groups and were astonished with their presentations.
Finally, at the award ceremony,they sat holding hands nervously in a group at the awards (even the BOYS!). Worried about their feelings, I asked them "What do we do if we DON'T place?"
One of the girls said "Scream and yell for the teams that DO!"
I added, "Promise me, too, that no matter WHAT that we'll do the same thing whether we place or don't...we figure out what to do to make it better next year.'
They promised and DID JUST THAT...no crying scenes, no pouting fits, just good kids happy to have made it this far. We had pizza, talked about how cool all the events were, then went to bed, got back up and took our bus back to Lockport. Even the parents were wonderful! A bunch of them even hugged me and thanked me at the end, plus they gave the kids money to buy pins for me, the Highlander and the other coach (the cool blinky kind that I love that blind you when you look right at 'em...woo HOOO!!!)
I have TRULY been blessed, folks! :-D
D.
Our team didn't place in the top 5, but WOW, what a group! They've been at this since September, all of them new to the experience, but did the best performance they've ever done in their lives and supported each other like true champions the whole way. We won in our regional tournament and went on to the New York State Tournament. We were like country mice in Times Square...everything was so big and glamorous and amazing on the SUNY Binghamton campus. They did the spontaneous event at a mind blowing 8:19 in the morning (mind blowing for folks like ME who couldn't sleep a WINK from excitement!) and did their long term problem in the afternoon. All day long, they watched other groups and were astonished with their presentations.
Finally, at the award ceremony,they sat holding hands nervously in a group at the awards (even the BOYS!). Worried about their feelings, I asked them "What do we do if we DON'T place?"
One of the girls said "Scream and yell for the teams that DO!"
I added, "Promise me, too, that no matter WHAT that we'll do the same thing whether we place or don't...we figure out what to do to make it better next year.'
They promised and DID JUST THAT...no crying scenes, no pouting fits, just good kids happy to have made it this far. We had pizza, talked about how cool all the events were, then went to bed, got back up and took our bus back to Lockport. Even the parents were wonderful! A bunch of them even hugged me and thanked me at the end, plus they gave the kids money to buy pins for me, the Highlander and the other coach (the cool blinky kind that I love that blind you when you look right at 'em...woo HOOO!!!)
I have TRULY been blessed, folks! :-D
D.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
New Blog: Blinded By The Sprite
Once again, at Walter's insistence, I've started another blog. This one is just for what he calls "my little rants about songs". Apparently, I crab about music enough that he's had time to CREATE a name for them, but he seems to like it when I do it and thinks the rest of the world might be similarly entertained. I pity any of you who actually agree! :-)
The title for this blog actually came from Mark (Wassamatta U) and Kevin both. Kevin was responsible for Blinded By the Sprite (which he woke up and said to me in the middle of the night and just wouldn't leave my head) and Mark had gone entirely insane using the words "verse" and "stanza" to the point where I HAD to take something he said just to make him take his Ritalin...!
Anyway, you can check it out and let me know what you think: (http://blindedbythesprite.blogspot.com/)
The title for this blog actually came from Mark (Wassamatta U) and Kevin both. Kevin was responsible for Blinded By the Sprite (which he woke up and said to me in the middle of the night and just wouldn't leave my head) and Mark had gone entirely insane using the words "verse" and "stanza" to the point where I HAD to take something he said just to make him take his Ritalin...!
Anyway, you can check it out and let me know what you think: (http://blindedbythesprite.blogspot.com/)
Monday, February 18, 2008
Sometimes, you gotta be stronger than you are...
My dad told me this once, and I normally try to live up to it. The past month has been hard though.
Kevin's been in pain since...well, some type of heavy duty meds have been involved since 2004, but it started before that, even. The accident brought out some more complications, none of which the doctors can be clear on yet. They were offering him stronger meds, which he balked at because of the level of addiction he was afraid he was getting into. Meanwhile, I was trying to do whatever it took to keep him pain free, but hitting a wall when it came to the meds being upped because of his worries. He was getting depressed, I was getting depressed, detached and even angry by varying degrees, all which culminated in HUGE amounts of guilt.
See, it's a little scary trying to take care of someone for a tomboy. We pretty much have NO clue about woman's intuition, so if a guy like Kevin says he's fine, we believe him until he actually makes the pain noises. Then we feel guilty thinking we should have known better or felt some kind of natural urge to protect him or something, which makes us mad ("why didn't you TELL me you were hurting?" or "why'd you do that? It's just gonna hurt MORE!") and THAT leads to the guilt about getting mad at someone in pain.
After talking with him, I came to some heavy realizations about all this:
1. Kevin is actually suffering from CHRONIC pain, not just recurring bouts that have an ending. The pain for him is constant, and in varying degrees. It's not the type that actually gets better (at least, not as yet); there just seem to be good and bad days. This means it's NOT just mind over matter.
2. All Kevin is really supposed to do is sit or lay down and not bend his neck. This means his life is mostly tv and books/computer for a short period. It makes him feel useless and of no help to me as a man, but his independence and stubbornness about doing for himself leaves me with the same feeling as a woman. I know the doctors are right and I really need to make him NOT do things, but I have to keep in mind the destructive thoughts he has about not feeling like he can help me when I remind him NOT to try and clean/make dinner/do laundry, etc.
3. I can't hinge my happiness on how he feels on any given day, or else I'll always be sad and so will he. There are enough opportunities for him to be depressed about pain without me adding to the festivities! :-) It's actually okay for me to find ways to enjoy myself (Comedy Sportz, after school activities, etc.) as well as take care of him.
5. That being said, when I get overwhelmed with trying to be brave for him, it's okay to break down once in a while and cry. It does NOT make me a bad wife. If I don't, I'll get tight and wound up and won't be much good to him, anyway. Supporting someone through pain is taking care of their needs, but NOT wallowing in misery with them. I need to find ways to stay happy to keep his spirits up, too.
So, last weekend afforded me the chance to...well, cry. I think I needed it. I told my mom and she was just sorry it was so hard for both of us. I don't think it occurred to me that I was in a situation to be pitied, too. After all, I wasn't hurting. But, she said it's like being the parent of a child who's sick and you can't help. You're going through an emotional strain that can be just as awful as what the victim is suffering. She's right...your spouse really IS your baby when you don't have kids and I worry about his well being more than anyone else's I know, including my own. I had entirely disregarded my need to let go.
Yay, moms!
Next step...talk to her about where SHE'S currently going wrong. She and my brother aren't talking and I've woken up two nights in a row now with answers why and explanations that ought to be made. That'll take a COMPLETELY different blog someday, but not today...!
I WILL get a new blog going for something Walter suggested and Mark named...more on that later, too!
D.
Kevin's been in pain since...well, some type of heavy duty meds have been involved since 2004, but it started before that, even. The accident brought out some more complications, none of which the doctors can be clear on yet. They were offering him stronger meds, which he balked at because of the level of addiction he was afraid he was getting into. Meanwhile, I was trying to do whatever it took to keep him pain free, but hitting a wall when it came to the meds being upped because of his worries. He was getting depressed, I was getting depressed, detached and even angry by varying degrees, all which culminated in HUGE amounts of guilt.
See, it's a little scary trying to take care of someone for a tomboy. We pretty much have NO clue about woman's intuition, so if a guy like Kevin says he's fine, we believe him until he actually makes the pain noises. Then we feel guilty thinking we should have known better or felt some kind of natural urge to protect him or something, which makes us mad ("why didn't you TELL me you were hurting?" or "why'd you do that? It's just gonna hurt MORE!") and THAT leads to the guilt about getting mad at someone in pain.
After talking with him, I came to some heavy realizations about all this:
1. Kevin is actually suffering from CHRONIC pain, not just recurring bouts that have an ending. The pain for him is constant, and in varying degrees. It's not the type that actually gets better (at least, not as yet); there just seem to be good and bad days. This means it's NOT just mind over matter.
2. All Kevin is really supposed to do is sit or lay down and not bend his neck. This means his life is mostly tv and books/computer for a short period. It makes him feel useless and of no help to me as a man, but his independence and stubbornness about doing for himself leaves me with the same feeling as a woman. I know the doctors are right and I really need to make him NOT do things, but I have to keep in mind the destructive thoughts he has about not feeling like he can help me when I remind him NOT to try and clean/make dinner/do laundry, etc.
3. I can't hinge my happiness on how he feels on any given day, or else I'll always be sad and so will he. There are enough opportunities for him to be depressed about pain without me adding to the festivities! :-) It's actually okay for me to find ways to enjoy myself (Comedy Sportz, after school activities, etc.) as well as take care of him.
5. That being said, when I get overwhelmed with trying to be brave for him, it's okay to break down once in a while and cry. It does NOT make me a bad wife. If I don't, I'll get tight and wound up and won't be much good to him, anyway. Supporting someone through pain is taking care of their needs, but NOT wallowing in misery with them. I need to find ways to stay happy to keep his spirits up, too.
So, last weekend afforded me the chance to...well, cry. I think I needed it. I told my mom and she was just sorry it was so hard for both of us. I don't think it occurred to me that I was in a situation to be pitied, too. After all, I wasn't hurting. But, she said it's like being the parent of a child who's sick and you can't help. You're going through an emotional strain that can be just as awful as what the victim is suffering. She's right...your spouse really IS your baby when you don't have kids and I worry about his well being more than anyone else's I know, including my own. I had entirely disregarded my need to let go.
Yay, moms!
Next step...talk to her about where SHE'S currently going wrong. She and my brother aren't talking and I've woken up two nights in a row now with answers why and explanations that ought to be made. That'll take a COMPLETELY different blog someday, but not today...!
I WILL get a new blog going for something Walter suggested and Mark named...more on that later, too!
D.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Well, of course YOU did...!
So, I threw my primary vote to Barrack Obama today. I felt so GUILTY, it wasn't funny. I snuck in there with that same self conscious feeling I get when I'm buying fried chicken in public, the same feeling that makes Kevin the buyer of watermelon in our house instead of me. I can't stand that sensation that people are looking at me going "Well, of course YOU voted for Barrack...he's black and everything!" Like I couldn't POSSIBLY be voting for him because I loved his speech at the National Convention or that I like his moderate attitude or because I think he's got a better chance than the others of wresting power away from the Republican Party.
Think this is a silly thought? While I was visiting Canada back in October, an older couple asked me if I was voting for Hilary or Osama (yes, OSAMA!) I laughed and said, "You mean Obama, right? Because that would be a VERY different election...!" Again, they believed I could only be thinking about voting for the black guy or the woman, regardless of their actual job qualifications. At the time, I was really kinda leaning toward John Edwards (out of defiance, I guess), but it was awkward to only be seen as being so one sided.
Anyway, I'm glad it's over for now. I'll have to wait and see what the polls say. Honestly, though, if it's between John McCain and Barrack Obama, I'll be happy with either one. I'd like to believe that Barrack would be forced into ushering in a new age of change, but John McCain seems to be just as bent on making his party better and has a history of being a maverick as it is. It all works toward the same goal, really.
Think this is a silly thought? While I was visiting Canada back in October, an older couple asked me if I was voting for Hilary or Osama (yes, OSAMA!) I laughed and said, "You mean Obama, right? Because that would be a VERY different election...!" Again, they believed I could only be thinking about voting for the black guy or the woman, regardless of their actual job qualifications. At the time, I was really kinda leaning toward John Edwards (out of defiance, I guess), but it was awkward to only be seen as being so one sided.
Anyway, I'm glad it's over for now. I'll have to wait and see what the polls say. Honestly, though, if it's between John McCain and Barrack Obama, I'll be happy with either one. I'd like to believe that Barrack would be forced into ushering in a new age of change, but John McCain seems to be just as bent on making his party better and has a history of being a maverick as it is. It all works toward the same goal, really.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Cars, pedestrians and other comedy sportz!
Right, so this is more like 2 weeks in between posts, but in my defense, CQ was over here with Kitten and Falling Leaves and they were all...CQing and Kittening and Falling around, so we couldn't concentrate...so...yeah...!
Anyway, it's been a crazy two weeks, the worst of which came two days ago. I'm just gonna preface this by saying "No sprites, Highlanders or teenagers were harmed in the making of this incident!"
Kevin and I were in a car accident Thursday night. We hit two teenagers that we know through their families at school (I actually do an afterschool reading team with the mom of the passenger and had the little sister of the driver in my GT class). We were coming down the main road going home and the driver turned in front of us to make a left on our green light. When he saw us, he put his brakes on, so they slowed down instead of speeding out of the way (his insurance company later told us he was reacting to his girlfriend's scream when she saw us coming at them). We slammed our brakes and tried to avoid them, but there was no way to go but into their car.
Even now, it's like a bad dream where things NEARLY happen, but nothing quite comes of it. There were emergency vehicles everywhere and lots of broken car parts, but no hurt people...even the kids were fine. Our airbags didn't deploy, but the seatbelts were enough. I had this horrible moment where I thought the Highlander was injured, and another when I thought we'd hurt the two kids, but none of that came to pass. Our car was totaled, so a sheriff had to drive us home, but the rental people got us another car yesterday. And even though we had initial worries about this being a huge problem (two teachers hit local teens, or local kids fight insurance claim), the family accepted full responsibility and all our needs will be paid for. Heck, while visiting the doctor yesterday, we found out our favorite nurse hates her green 1995 Subaru Legacy (the EXACT car we totaled!) and would LOVE to trade it for our gas guzzling GMC Sierra that we've had off the road for months!
I guess the only piece of this that makes this real is that yesterday, we were both home and safe on a school day without some sort of debilitating illness being involved (you guys KNOW what I'm talking about!). We slept in and rested pretty well, so all we have is stiffness and my tongue being sore from biting it. I actually had a UTI that I should have stayed home from work on Friday for (and wasn't going to), and the Highlander (who's a sub and part time at a lab) has had no paid days off since...um, last year at this time when he was still considered full time at the lab! If not for the car being totaled, both of us would have been stretched thin at work and come home exhausted. Had it even been just a fender bender, we'dve had to handle all the insurance stuff while TRYING to work.
This whole episode has become a weird blessing in disguise, I guess. Admittedly, we're good and sore NOW, but still...it's the kind of day where you should hug the ones you love, call the ones you miss and thank God that you've got your health.
Anyway, I know this sounds weird, but I needed to TALK about this! The Highlander and I have rehashed the whole thing so many times now, it's not even FUNNY, but I still wanted to just...TELL someone. I'm not quite sure why, but I've noticed people tend to WANT to talk about really scary life stuff (like, I really WANTED to talk about my grandma when she passed, or when I rolled my car a few winters ago). I feel like some sort of morbid braggart, but it really helps to share it. Does anyone else get that feeling?
In less "holy !@#$" kind of news, I think I'm going to audition for Comedy Sportz in Buffalo. I haven't gotten to do much improv outside of my normal classroom goofiness lately (plus I've forgotten what a pain it was to drive into town and do late night shows...oh, wait...). Okay, STILL, I'm gonna try out. If I don't get in, no worries. If I do...I'll have to think about that part of it when it happens! Easier to say no after I've actually MADE the cut than to never try at all, right?
Oh, and I've been WALKING! I've actually been getting outside and walking the streets trying to earn extra money for...no, wait, that's KEVIN! I'VE been walking for my HEALTH! :-) I realized how crazy it was to get upset at my mom for being in shape and not condoning the lumpy middleagedness that is myself and decided to do something about it all. Kevin's neck has been bad, so he hasn't been walking EVERY day with me, but he INSISTS on following me in the car like some kind of stalker! :-) I've convinced him to at least go up a street instead of trailing behind me so that the neighbors don't run outside and try to confront him while dragging me to their porch for safety!
Anyway, we've gotta get to the hospital to get Kevin's neck X-rayed (just to be safe). I'll throw some more down later...!
Anyway, it's been a crazy two weeks, the worst of which came two days ago. I'm just gonna preface this by saying "No sprites, Highlanders or teenagers were harmed in the making of this incident!"
Kevin and I were in a car accident Thursday night. We hit two teenagers that we know through their families at school (I actually do an afterschool reading team with the mom of the passenger and had the little sister of the driver in my GT class). We were coming down the main road going home and the driver turned in front of us to make a left on our green light. When he saw us, he put his brakes on, so they slowed down instead of speeding out of the way (his insurance company later told us he was reacting to his girlfriend's scream when she saw us coming at them). We slammed our brakes and tried to avoid them, but there was no way to go but into their car.
Even now, it's like a bad dream where things NEARLY happen, but nothing quite comes of it. There were emergency vehicles everywhere and lots of broken car parts, but no hurt people...even the kids were fine. Our airbags didn't deploy, but the seatbelts were enough. I had this horrible moment where I thought the Highlander was injured, and another when I thought we'd hurt the two kids, but none of that came to pass. Our car was totaled, so a sheriff had to drive us home, but the rental people got us another car yesterday. And even though we had initial worries about this being a huge problem (two teachers hit local teens, or local kids fight insurance claim), the family accepted full responsibility and all our needs will be paid for. Heck, while visiting the doctor yesterday, we found out our favorite nurse hates her green 1995 Subaru Legacy (the EXACT car we totaled!) and would LOVE to trade it for our gas guzzling GMC Sierra that we've had off the road for months!
I guess the only piece of this that makes this real is that yesterday, we were both home and safe on a school day without some sort of debilitating illness being involved (you guys KNOW what I'm talking about!). We slept in and rested pretty well, so all we have is stiffness and my tongue being sore from biting it. I actually had a UTI that I should have stayed home from work on Friday for (and wasn't going to), and the Highlander (who's a sub and part time at a lab) has had no paid days off since...um, last year at this time when he was still considered full time at the lab! If not for the car being totaled, both of us would have been stretched thin at work and come home exhausted. Had it even been just a fender bender, we'dve had to handle all the insurance stuff while TRYING to work.
This whole episode has become a weird blessing in disguise, I guess. Admittedly, we're good and sore NOW, but still...it's the kind of day where you should hug the ones you love, call the ones you miss and thank God that you've got your health.
Anyway, I know this sounds weird, but I needed to TALK about this! The Highlander and I have rehashed the whole thing so many times now, it's not even FUNNY, but I still wanted to just...TELL someone. I'm not quite sure why, but I've noticed people tend to WANT to talk about really scary life stuff (like, I really WANTED to talk about my grandma when she passed, or when I rolled my car a few winters ago). I feel like some sort of morbid braggart, but it really helps to share it. Does anyone else get that feeling?
In less "holy !@#$" kind of news, I think I'm going to audition for Comedy Sportz in Buffalo. I haven't gotten to do much improv outside of my normal classroom goofiness lately (plus I've forgotten what a pain it was to drive into town and do late night shows...oh, wait...). Okay, STILL, I'm gonna try out. If I don't get in, no worries. If I do...I'll have to think about that part of it when it happens! Easier to say no after I've actually MADE the cut than to never try at all, right?
Oh, and I've been WALKING! I've actually been getting outside and walking the streets trying to earn extra money for...no, wait, that's KEVIN! I'VE been walking for my HEALTH! :-) I realized how crazy it was to get upset at my mom for being in shape and not condoning the lumpy middleagedness that is myself and decided to do something about it all. Kevin's neck has been bad, so he hasn't been walking EVERY day with me, but he INSISTS on following me in the car like some kind of stalker! :-) I've convinced him to at least go up a street instead of trailing behind me so that the neighbors don't run outside and try to confront him while dragging me to their porch for safety!
Anyway, we've gotta get to the hospital to get Kevin's neck X-rayed (just to be safe). I'll throw some more down later...!
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Our 2007 Holiday Letter (in worse format than the original!)
Happy Holidays 2007 From The Burkes!
About 10 years ago, Kevin and I met each other playing a game online. There were, at the time, over 1500 people playing that game at any given time during the day and I was already closer buddies with one of his friends. Neither of us was looking to do more than play a game and have fun with our free time, yet somehow we ended up together for life.
You’d think THAT would be a constant reminder that things always happen for a reason…!
Life is really funny sometimes. Last year was a year of loss and change, but somehow, as I write this fifth holiday update, I’m surprised at how we gain when we accept that we lost. Too many events have happened this year to remind us of this. For starters, our picture this year wasn’t taken on our anniversary (which we mutually decided to skip to work summer school). This picture was taken at the wedding of a close friend of ours, someone we might not have been reacquainted with if not for the passing of our friend Tom Hollis.
Last summer, we lost my grandmother Lucy Rollins, but almost exactly a year later, my brother Eric breathes new life into our family by marrying Antra.
We braced ourselves for more lean years when Kevin decided to go back to teaching (even went so far as to decide to let go of the house if needed), but found that a HUGE part of the pain in his head and neck came from the stress of working at the lab. Now that he’s been subbing all over the county, we’re finding we don’t go through as much medication to keep his pain at bay. Coupled with the gas saved in going to work together, we’re actually SAVING money.
We were late to a student’s basketball game and felt we’d really missed something important, but arrived at a crossroads just in time to witness a terrible car accident. Had we been on time to the game, we wouldn’t have been there to hold the victim’s head and comfort him until help arrived. The experience became even more real for us as later that same day, another accident happened at the same intersection and a life WAS lost.
Even the song that we chose to mark our anniversary, “Solsbury Hill” by Peter Gabriel, turned out to be prophetic in more ways than one. I was listening to it while driving Kevin home from his myelogram. He was so worn out and tired looking from his 6 hour ordeal that seeing the sun shine on his face and hearing the words “Grab your things, I’ve come to take you home” really hit me hard. As it stands, it’s also a song about letting go, taking a risk to reach for your goals, despite your fears.
The name of the game this year, then, is faith and perseverance. Obviously, we haven’t STOPPED trying to do what needs to be done to survive or to help others, but we can see there’s no point in worrying any further about whether things will all work out. More importantly we know better now than to worry if they will work out the way we WANT them to.
So, while life here is never perfect, we’ve learned to accept a few basic truths:
Wherever you are is where you need to be at that time (even if you’re late to work or a basketball game).
Do what you can to make things happen (God bless the child that’s got his own), but remember to thank God for those unanswered prayers, too.
Stop waiting for the other shoe to fall…if life will take a wrong turn, it doesn’t need your pessimism to guide it in!
Love and support each other in your dreams…and always be ready to grab your loved one’s things and take them back home.
Have a wonderful 2008!!!
From Kevin & Daina
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