Reeling In The Years

I just realized something about my past...I don't have folks to share it with.

Let me make sure I don't make anyone feel like crap here...it's not like I don't have friends and a wonderful husband to tell my story to, but none of them were THERE! Like I can't turn to Kevin and say, "Hey, remember how we used to have bike races up Taos Drive all the time?" because he wasn't with me when I did it. My younger brother was there, but his memory's not that great anymore and he wasn't involved in most of the stuff I did, except during the summer. Those fond memories of school that people have...I have some pretty limited ones. Most have to do with starting a new school, turning into a minor social pariah at that school and limited memories of folks that DID talk with me back in those days. (sigh)

I think if I had lived in the same area longer, or kept contact better when we moved, I'd at least have the ability to remember the better moments instead of just the rotten or the really strong memories. I mean, as good as I like to believe my capacity to remember things is, there's something to be said for having friends to rehash that info with. If you do't retell it a few times, you kinda forget how it happened, or you forget it entirely.

Which brings me to my latest discovery...I've found some more folks I hung out with back in high school as of late. Early in my late 20's, a few people found me online and told me that they were sorry we hadn't been better friends, but they thought I was nice and hoped I was doing well. That kind cooled my hatred of school life to at least a level where I started to think that maybe I had more friends than I realized. Now it seems the folks I'm connecting with are actual people whose company I DID enjoy, so I'm getting a little taste of that "remember when?" feeling.

It's really cool to hear things that you lived through from another person's point of view (like I love listening to Kevin's talk about how he and I met!). It kind of rounds out the view you had in your mind and almost validates the experience for you a little...like, "Yeah, that really DID happen!" Even more weird is seeing that I wasn't as big a social pariah as I thought...I just didn't have the world's best opinion of myself (which has totally changed because I am AWESOME now!) LOL

Anyway, so much for the "woe is me" part...I think I'm going to spend a bit more time this summer actively seeking out high school classmates so I can reconnect with my own past...after all, it apparently didn't suck as much as I thought, so what the heck! :-)